his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
