I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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