hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize