dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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