found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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