I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
