Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
