She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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