I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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