Walk of Shame. In a state park.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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