so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
