____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
