haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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