I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
