I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
