history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
