She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
