i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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