Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
