did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
