how can u be prego again
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
