Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I did not marry a roomba.
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