So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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