Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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