Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My pussy is not your playground.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
