I wanna bring you to show and tell
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
