the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
