Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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