I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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