the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
