if i can run in heels then i can drive
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
