somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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