her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We need to get me chipped asap
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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