I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
