3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Pooping to opera.
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