I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
