What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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