Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
