Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
