Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
