also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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