THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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