420 ftw
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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