All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
