worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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