it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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