Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
