FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
