drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize