piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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