Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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