its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
3 2 1 whiskey
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
