So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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