I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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