batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
