I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
