Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
