sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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