I wanna bring you to show and tell
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
