Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
