Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
