i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize