i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
