yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
