Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
