1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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