Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize