Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
