At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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