The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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