Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
